


Distraction In Action

by Wallothet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Almost Sex, Crack, Destiel - Freeform, Gabriel on TV, Grafting, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Pepsi Max, Seduction, Wallothet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 12:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wallothet/pseuds/Wallothet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Pepsi Max commercial made me do it. In which Dean grafts, Cas ignores him until he doesn't and Gabriel ruins everything. Utter crack.</p><p>'Dean’s pulling one of Cas’ legs up his side, he’s thinking about flipping Cas onto his front, it’s about to happen, fuck yes, yes, yes-</p><p>“I’ll take the special and a Pepsi Max please,” said a smug and altogether terrifyingly familiar voice, coming from the TV.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Distraction In Action

**Author's Note:**

> I randomly remembered that Richard Speight was in a Pepsi Max commercial and then this happened. The fic will make a lot more sense if you watch the commercial first which you can spend 1 minute and 2 seconds of your life doing so here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5MAsbabwfA

“Dean, stop.”

Dean did not stop. Instead he leant in over the sofa arm and pressed a slower, more lingering kiss behind Cas’ ear. He’d tried words, he really had, but it turns out that when they promised Sam they’d keep their “hands off each other for five minutes,” and would get some real research done, Cas had actually meant it. And Cas was a stubborn mother when he wanted to be, hence why Dean had progressed to coaxing Cas’ attention from the book sat open on his lap, with action instead of words. The TV babbled on in the background.

“Desist, Dean,” Not even a glance.

“Love it when you say my name…” Dean deliberately went all breathy for that one, right beside Cas’ ear, pulling out every trick in the book now. He leant in again, gently nudging Cas’ cheek with the tip of his nose before mouthing at his jaw line.

Nothing. Huh.

He’d been at this for a good hour now and his knees were starting to ache from being knelt on them for so long. Time to get dramatic.

You can’t spell ‘distraction’ without ‘action.’

Dean sat back on his knees again and waited for Cas to turn a page (the added motive of watching Cas delicately dab a fingertip on his tongue to turn the page, having more than a little to do with waiting for said act.) Sure enough Cas licked his finger and Dean acted; quick as a flash he flicked Cas _hard_ on the ear and got the reaction he wanted. Cas whipped round and glared at Dean, “ _Don’t_ test me, Winches-” which served as the perfect split second Dean needed to snatch up the book that’d been hogging his angel’s attention all afternoon and hurl it across the room. It hit the floor with a loud thud.

Cas’ eyes narrowed, “That was a very old book, Dean. You’ve probably damaged it now.”

Without wavering under the intense glare for even a moment, Dean slid on his most charming smile and surged forward. In one swift move, he crashed his lips to Cas’, sending him back over his centre of gravity and onto his back, Dean following him all the way down onto the sofa, over the arm and YES. One angel successfully pinned beneath him and the thing is, Cas was more than capable of pushing Dean off, hell, he could throw him through the wall if he really wanted to, but he didn’t which Dean counted as a win.

“Dean…. No…”

A definite change of tone, Dean noted as they spoke between kisses.

“Cas… Yes…”

Dean grinned to himself as he felt Cas’ arms slide around his neck, their kiss already turned heated and deep and fuck _yes._ Persistence is key. Dean is king. He settled himself between Cas’ legs, languidly moving his groin against Cas’- and oh a gasp from his angel? Let it be known that Dean is a legend. He slipped a hand between them, deftly unbuckling Cas’ belt, as his lips found the side of Cas’ neck.  Zero to sixty in one second flat. Stunning.

“So hard for you Cas, baby,” he’ll blame porn later.

And he’s there, Cas’ pants are coming down, Dean’s pants are undone, Cas’ shirt’s open, they’re going for it, any minute now, fuck Dean’s ready, they both are, the kiss is messy, it’s deep, their breathing’s all over the show, mouths are red, Cas is arching up and letting out these desperate little moans and it’s so hot, oh my god, Dean’s pulling one of Cas’ legs up his side, he’s thinking about flipping Cas onto his front, it’s about to happen, fuck yes, yes, yes-

 

 

“I’ll take the special and a Pepsi Max please,” said a smug and altogether terrifyingly familiar voice, coming from the TV.

 

 

They froze, stopping in their tracks as fast as they’d started. A song began playing on the TV.

(WHY CAN’T WEEE BE FRIENDS, WHY CAN’T WEEE BE FRIENDS-)

“Good song,” said a voice on the TV.

“Great song,” said the first voice.

Cas and Dean blinked at each other, still panting, before they slowly turned their heads in unison to look at what couldn’t possibly be happening on the TV. Except it is was.

Gabriel. Fucking _Gabriel,_ on the TV. Classic smirk still plastered on his face. Dressed in a Pepsi Max uniform for fucks sake.

“He’s…… Gabriel….. Cas, why…..?”

Cas simply shook his head without taking his eyes off the screen, mouth hanging open a little.

 They watched the rest of the advert play out in total silence, eyes glued to the ridiculousness happening in front of them; A supposedly dead archangel, somehow on a Pepsi Max commercial no less, acting as a Pepsi Max truck driver, who, by the looks of it is tricking a Coke Zero truck driver into drinking some Pepsi…. And then recoding it to put on youtube.

“I can’t….. The biggest turn off I’ve ever…” Dean shook his head in disbelief, still gawking at the TV, hard-on officially now flaccid. The commercial ended with the two truckies flying through a glass window and fighting on the ground.

“If there's any voice that can make my balls retreat faster.... I don’t think they're coming down…”

Cas slowly turned his head back to look up at Dean who was still on top of him, “I…”

Dean cursed, dropping his forehead to Cas’ chest, before muffling out, “How about that research.” He pushed himself up, kneeling between Cas’ legs, zipping his pants back up, totally pissed all of his hard work at seducing Cas had gone to waste because of _Gabriel,_ of all beings.  He carefully climbed off of the thoroughly dishevelled angel who nodded in agreement, apparently just as appalled at seeing his brothers’ face, just as he was about to get shagged into next week, as Dean was.

Had he not just ruined the final result of the longest graft he’d ever done in his life, Dean might have been a little happy to see that Gabriel was in fact, still alive.

 

But as it stands, he now has an afternoon of research ahead of him.

 

This is _not_ how he intended to spend the next few hours.


End file.
